pumpkincato I (22F) have been saving my baby items from when I was young. This ranges from clothing, blankets, bibs, bottles, decor, crib bedding, and other miscellaneous items. I had it all in boxes in my closet -- some decor I had displayed in my room. I have sentimental attachment to it and want to pass it down to my children in hopes of it being a family heirloom one day. My sister (26F) had her first child, my niece. I love my sister and her little family. I adore and love my niece and I've gotten a few baby items or toys for her as well. When I returned home from university, i noticed that the decor I had displayed was gone. I asked my mom about it and she said my sister saw the decor and she told her to take it. I told her that I was saving it for my future children and my mom just denyed that it was valuable to me. Regardless, I didn't want to argue with her about it. I went back to my room and saw that all of my boxes were gone as well. I call my sister to confirm and yes, she had taken everything. I tried to be reasonable and I told her, "i'd like everything back once you're done with it." My sister got very angry at me, saying that it was hers now and she plans to use it for her other children - and then pass it down. I told her that this was all MY baby stuff and if she wanted heirlooms, she should have saved her own baby items. Her argument was that she never planned on having children so she didn't save anything, mom gave her the stuff so now it's hers, and that I should just deal with it because "if it was so important, why didn't you take it with you (to college)?" At this point, i felt like i was arguing with a brick wall. I demanded my stuff back immediately and said I'd go over to her house and get it back myself. I tried to be nice and let her use it until my niece grew out of it but she just doesn't want to give it back at all."AITA for demanding my older sister return my baby items she took from me because I was saving them for my future children?"
She told my mom and my mom yelled at me saying that technically, all of my baby items are my mom's possessions since she purchased them, thus my mom has every right to give to whoever she pleases. My mom and sister also claim that i'm lying about these items being valuable to me and im just saying that to be rude.
Mom, sister, and BIL say I'm in the wrong, my dad isn't getting into it, my others siblings are minors (below 10 y/o) so i'm not taking their opinions seriously. Basically the entire family is against me and I don't know what to do. I do know that my sister isn't well off but I did offer her to keep the items for now but that wasn't enough for her. AITA?
EDIT: I wanted to add some clarifications due to comments. My mom saved our things (as well as my younger siblings) and we all have them in our closets. Those items were mainly clothing and bedding.
When my sister moved out, she was sorting through things and decided she didn't need them. Her reasoning (to my understanding) being she didn't plan on having children.
Ever since she was a teen she said she didn't want children. So she decided to donate them all. She was maybe 23 or 24 when she moved out so it wasn't that long ago and in my opinion, she was grown enough to see the impact of that.
We have a younger sister and she didn't take her things. 1. Because my mom didn't let her and 2. Because my things are closer to the time my sister was born in and she wanted more older style items rather than modern.
However, a lot of the items - such as toys or decor - were used on my room until i did a remodel of my room in my teens. Those items were my decision to save. Also the bottles and bibs were in the back of the kitchen storage which I also decided to save once I was older.
My mom does take the credit for saving clothing and bedding and some blankets, but some of it was my decision to save as well (other blankets, decor, bottles, toys, etc).
Also, I still live at home. I go to university out of state so I live on campus during the school year and come home during breaks. My room is still mine until I move out, which is hopefully soon once I graduate in December.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Kris82868
NTA. No clue what makes sis think she's entitled to all the items. But I'm kind of confused. If you're talking about things you used when you were a baby your parents must have saved them originally at least. But obviously saving the items in boxes in your closet warranted a discussion with you in the very least rather than blindsiding they weren't there.
Whale_Mmmmmountain
You’re not the AH. Your mom seems to be enabling your sisters poor decision making. Regardless of whether or not she knew those items had sentimental value to you, once she learned, she should have set things straight.
And by set things straight, I’ll be clear that the bare minimum expectation should be for her to return them to you when her child grows out of them. Hanging onto them knowing they have sentimental value to you is just cruel. Sorry you’re going through this OP.
salukiqueen
NTA They stole from you, plain and simple. I don’t know the likelihood of you getting your belongings back, you could try asking an officer to go to your sisters to collect them but without proof it’s yours it’s very he said/she said and your mom might back your sister up. At which point I’d wash my hands of all of them.
Comfortable-Sea-2454
NTA - your Sister and Mom are massive ones though. Once your mom gave them to you as a child they were YOURS, and YOURS ALONE.
""if it was so important, why didn't you take it with you (to college)?"
Who takes baby stuff to college. Personally this would be my hill to die on. I get my stuff back or I no longer have a family. But that is me and I am VERY protective of items that belong to my babyhood and youth.
Brilliant-Camera9249
If it was not of value to you then why would you have kept it all. Also I wouldvtell them you now know where you stand in this family and how little you are thought of. Also that they should remember this in future.
So, what do you think about this one? If you could give the OP any advice here, what would you tell them?
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