Chapter Text
They after they finished searching the spider’s lair, they continued searching out dead goblins to loot while there was still daylight. As they probed deeper into the village, Shadowheart approached Lena. “I heard someone, but they sound injured. Shall we investigate?”
Lena nodded. “Let’s go. Are goblins known for feints or cons?” They started walking toward the sound of pained moaning.
“Not unless they’re directed by someone much smarter, and their performances would make Astarion’s ‘there’s a brain-thing over there, kill it’ act look like Fencas Brenturim’s.”
Lena looked puzzled. “Who?”
“Famous human actor in Baldur’s Gate. She really makes her roles come alive, especially when she performs as Oberon in ‘A Midsummer’s Night Dream.’” Shadowheart had a slightly dreamy look on her face.
“Wait, but that’s a play from my world, my reality. Who’s credited as the author here?” Lena asked.
Shadowheart looked alarmed. “Vilamie Snakebeard. And on your world?”
“William Shakespeare.” The two women gave each other baffled looks, then said “Huh” in unison.
---
They reached a rotating windmill where a small unconscious bald man with blueish-black skin had been strapped to one of the rotating blades.
“Quick, we need to get that deep gnome down so I can heal him,” Shadowheart urged Lena.
Lena nodded. “On it.” She shucked her boots and leapt onto the windmill blade with the gnome and clung on with a knee and an arm wrapped around the blade’s supporting frame. “Remind me to find or commission a pair of boots like Lae’zels so I don’t have to keep taking them off when I need to use my claws.”
“You could always steal Lae’zel’s,” Shadowheart suggested.
“Hell no,” Lena said. “She seems a little down right now, so I’d rather not aggravate her.” She sawed through the rope holding the little man to the windmill blade, then carefully lowered him down by his arm to Shadowheart as the windmill blade reached its nadir, then hopping down.
Shadowheart laid him on the ground to assess his injuries, then cast a healing spell. “He was dehydrated and had some swelling on his brain from the rotations that I managed to treat, but I want to take him to Nettie so we can complete his healing somewhere relatively safe.”
“Do you have him, or shall I carry him?” Lena asked as she pulled her boots back on.
“He’s not especially heavy, so I’ll do it.” Shadowheart lifted the gnome in a bridal carry and they walked back to the others.
Astarion raised an eyebrow when he spotted Shadowheart carrying the gnome as they approached and then asked, “Are we to be graced with yet another camp pet?”
Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “He needs additional healing, so we should head to the grove.”
Astarion frowned, so Lena poked him in the arm. “Ow! That hurt!” He swatted at the offending digit.
Lena jerked her head toward the closest portal. “We’re going. Besides, we have sh*tty goblin gear we can either sell for scrap or use to make more extra blades or arrows.” Then she added in a sing-song voice, “I bet some of the spider parts I found can also be used to make some semi-decent equipment that I might be willing to share with a certain Mr. Grumpy Elf.”
He glared at Lena, unamused. “Fine. Just never use that voice on me again. And never call me that again.”
“I promise nothing,” she hissed.
---
The gathered party used the portal to travel to the grove where Lae’zel accompanied Shadowheart to take the gnome to Nettie.
Lena looked around. “So where’s this blacksmith?” she asked Wyll.
“Next to the enormous pit of hot coals and the anvil?” Wyll replied, pointing to a blond tiefling in a leather apron right in front of her.
Lena blinked. “I don’t know how I missed that.”
“I don’t know, either,” Wyll replied. He approached the blacksmith. “Greetings, Dammon.”
“Wyll, well met. Come to give the young ones another lesson?” Dammon asked Wyll.
“I’m afraid it’s a little late in the day to teach them anything. Instead, I would like to introduce you to my new companions: we have a few items that we would like either sell or barter as well as a few materials that we would like for you to assess.” Wyll introduced the remaining party, and they disgorged some of their looted items as well as some of the spider parts that Lena had collected onto a tarp on the ground.
“The goblin-made pieces aren’t worth much, though I can probably rework them into smaller daggers and knives. And the plans for this 'masterwork weapon' shouldn't be a problem for me if you can source a suitably large piece of sussar bark,” Dammon said. “Though I haven’t worked much with spider parts. What were you thinking of doing with them?”
Lena looked over the chitin pieces. “I was thinking of making some of the larger pieces could be made into a lightweight armor; a bit like leather armor, only with the chitin replacing the leather. And I’ve seen people soak chitin in water to soften it before working it into shape.”
The smith rubbed his chin. “That might be doable. Though from looking at the individual pieces, they are rather flimsy.”
Lena pointed at some of the tied webbing sacs. ‘I know that most spider species have a separate sac to add glue droplets to their silk to make it sticky, so some of these will hopefully contain a glue that can be used to laminate pieces together.”
“That might just work,” Dammon conceded.
“Just don’t get it on your hands,” Lena held up a reddened hand with dirty brown patches with two of the fingers still partially stuck together. “I don’t have any more spider spit after I cleaned the glue off my fingers from a leaky sac.”
Astarion snorted.
Dammon blinked. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“What about these?” Gale asked, lifting the lenses for the eyes. “Could you craft these into some sort of spectacles?”
Dammon looked examined the lens. “These are interesting. What kind of spider did you get these from?”
“Phase spiders,” Gale replied.
Dammon searched through the items until he found the three glowing chinitous organs Lena had harvested. “These should be what allowed the spiders the phase between the material and the ethereal plane. I can incorporate these two into a pair of boots that can allow the wearer to walk through the ethereal plane for a few seconds twice a day.” He then held up the third from the matriarch’s carcass. “This one is a little bit too damaged and is unpaired, but I might try to incorporate it into a blade so the wielder can phase for a few seconds once a day.”
Lena’s face turned thoughtful. “What would happen if someone were to phase into someone else?”
Gale looked at her. “How do you mean?”
“If I were to step into someone’s position so that we’re occupying the same space, but then I phase back into the material plane, what would happen?” she asked, her face hopeful.
Gale shook his head. “You can’t. You can move through objects as though they aren’t there in the ethereal plane, but you won’t be able to rematerialize.”
Lena’s face fell. “Damn it! I was hoping I could phase into a person and make them explode.”
Astarion’s eyebrows rose. “It’s a shame that’s not possible, I would’ve been so entertained by that ability. Can you imagine all the blood and viscera?” A vicious grin stretched across his face.
Lena looked at him. “I know! Right? It’d be like shoving a firecracker into a watermelon! Though cleanup would be a pain in the ass.”
“You are romantically involved with a wizard: he could potentially magic it away,” Astarion said. He and Lena looked at Gale with unsettling grins.
Gale sighed. “No, I am not you personal cleaning service. And it’s not possible, so stop imagining it.”
“But whhhyyyy?” Lena whined. “Why won’t you let us have our gory fantasies?”
“Because they’re not possible. Wouldn’t you two rather focus on feasible means of butchering your enemies?” Gale asked.
“Because this is more fun!” Astarion answered.
As the three bickered, Dammon leaned over to Wyll. “Are you sure you want to travel with them? You’re more than welcome to stay with us on our way to Baldur’s Gate.”
“They agreed to help me clear the roads of the goblins, and I feel they offer the best chance of success.”
Dammon looked over as Astarion and Lena peppered Gale with increasingly impractical and improbable scenarios of gruesomely killing people..
“What about shooting them with a highly-directed wind spell to inflate them?” Astarion asked.
“Ooo, and if you add bees to the wind spell, you can shoot people with bees! Or better still, giant killer wasps!” Lena added.
"Could you make a spell that inflates someone and fills them with bees?" Astarion asked.
Lena pointed at Astarion with her mouth agape. "Yes! And the bees could sting them from the inside!"
Gale sighed and dropped his face into his hands. “No, I refuse to craft new evocation spells because without a proper testing environment they can cause untold side effects without magical buffering. Also, all your suggestions thus far have been ridiculous.”
Dammon looked back at Wyll. “Are you sure?”
---
Wyll managed to secure a commission with Dammon for a pair of phase-walking boots, two sets of goggles, some new light armor made from spider chitin, a number of new arrows, and extra daggers before Lena noticed that Dammon was about to start work and shouted that she wanted new boots with open toes, which involved her shedding a boot and raising her foot to head-height to show Dammon her claws. Dammon, to his credit, only winced when he saw claws extending from her toes a meter from his face. He also agreed to do the commission at the price of their remaining goblin blades and spider chitin, saying that he could complete everything within three days.
“That was generous,” Gale remarked.
“He frequently has trouble sleeping, so it works for him to keep busy,” Wyll replied.
“Speaking of sleep,” Lena interjected, “Did any of you get any weird dreams about someone in armor telling you to use the magical maggot powers for an upcoming fight?”
“As a matter of fact, I did have one last night, only it was a beautiful human woman,” Gale said. Lena raised an eyebrow. “Nothing compared to you, of course,” he added hastily.
Lena shrugged. “I got Chris Evans, so I’m not one to talk.”
“I dreamt of a very tall and handsome tiefling man,” Astarion added.
“I had a similar dream, only it was a lovely gnomish woman,” Wyll said with a wistful expression. They all looked at Wyll. “What?” They continued to stare. Wyll began to blush. “I like their ears.”
“I don't want to 'yuck' on your 'yum' and I don’t know how interbreeding worked between the different humanoid species here, but I do NOT envy that gnome,” Lena said.
Lae’zel and Shadowheart joined them. “How goes our patient?” Gale asked.
“He’s conscious,” Shadowheart said. “His name is Barcus Wroot, recently of Baldur’s Gate. Apparently he’s looking for a friend of his who disappeared. He also said that he would restart his search in the Underdark as soon as Nettie clears him to leave.”
Wyll whistled. “That’s a very loyal friend to have come all this way, and to search the Underdark.”
“How far away are we from the Gate?” Astarion asked.
“About two ten-days by foot, by my reckoning,” Wyll replied.
Astarion sighed. Lena gave him a pat on the shoulder. “There, there,” she said. “Just remember that unlike the rest of us, you’re no longer a target for mosquitoes because you’re the wrong body temperature and you don’t need to breathe. Though the gnats probably still love you.” He gave her the side-eye when she grinned.
Shadowheart snorted. “Come on, let’s go to camp. Maybe Scratch and that little owlbear cub are there.”
